The gang goes to watch Passion of Christ!
by Animagi-Padfoot
Summary: It's pretty stupid. It's about Kagome and trying to tell the gang about Easter and she decides to bring them to watch Passion. No reviews needed. I'll probably get less than 5 anywayz...but, if you're kind...
1. The Introduction to Passion of Christ

~Clearwaterwings~  
  
It was a sunny day in the feudal era and the gang was at Kaede's. Inuyasha was being all puffy about it. "Wenches," he mumbled referring to Kagome and Kaede. The reason he doesn't call Sango a wench is because she is not the girl to mess with. Kirara purred as it took a nap in the corner and Sango was polishing Hiraikotsu.  
  
Inuyasha huffed. "Well, are you guys going to sit here all day? We have to go find Naraku and the Shikon jewel shards!" Silence. "HELLO?"  
  
Kagome stood up from her position and folded her arms. "If you haven't noticed, Inuyasha; we are trying to do something here and if you cool down that hot head of yours, the world would be a better place!"  
  
Miroku smiled and Inuyasha glared. "Stupid bouzu," he muttered as he rested his head against his hand. He opened one eye and saw Kagome taking something out of her bag. A book? "What are you doing anyways?" Inuyasha asked of curiosity when he saw Kagome read something.  
  
"It's a Bible. I am trying to read them for my own good! Besides, Easter is coming!" "Easter?" Miroku questioned. Silence. Oh great, more explaining!  
  
"It's okay, Kagome-chan. You don't have to explain it," Sango reassured as she put down Hiraikotsu. "Well, okay then. But I want to show you about Easter! The TRUE meaning of Easter!" Inuyasha winced. "Look, this all sounds 'fun' and all, but we have more important business to do!" Kaede sighed and shook her head. "Inuyasha, why not ye let Kagome speak?"  
  
"Keh."  
  
"Well, I can't really explain it. It's all about a certain man named Jesus and such...Oh! I know! I'll bring you to my time to watch a movie!" "Um, Kagome, what's a movie?" Shippou asked. (Almost forgot him!) "Well, a movie is a cinema film," Kagome answered. Before anyone can say anything, she said, "A cinema is a building where motion pictures are shown. How? They film it on a camera. A camera films people moving! It's all really cool!"  
  
"I see..." Miroku spoke. "So, Kagome-chan, what movie are we watching?' Kagome grinned. "A good one that explains the whole meaning of the Bible, Jesus and Easter! It's called The Passion of the Christ!" "Okay...what's Christ?" Inuyasha asked. "Jesus." "But He's called Jesus. Why is he a Christ?" "That doesn't mean he can't be called a Christ!" "That's stupid!" "So, you're 'an' Inuyasha and yet you're a Hanyou!" Inuyasha thought about that. "Does that mean he's a Christ? Oh! So a Christ is a nationality or whatcha- ma-callit." "Inuyasha! Argh! OSUWARI!" ~~~\/\/ |--| /-\ |\/|!~~~ "Ow!" "Just watch it and you'll see!"  
  
"So, this is a theater?" Miroku asked.  
  
Kagome nodded. "Yup, pretty large, don't you think?"  
  
Inuyasha 'keh'd'.  
  
The gang was dressed in normal clothes of course, and Shippou was disguised as a teen to get in.  
  
They bought their tickets and hurried to their seats.  
  
"My dear Sango. After you..." Miroku spoke.  
  
Sango didn't budge and took the seat at the edge. Miroku sat next to her. "Did I ever mention your eyes are beautifully blue?"  
  
"My eyes aren't blue, baka."  
  
"Oh."  
  
Shippou sat next to Kagome.  
  
The theater was crowded with people. Most of them stared at Inuyasha.  
  
"What?" he asked pissed. Everyone shook their heads and watched the movie.  
  
Shippou turned to a kid again and giggled. "This is going to be exciting!" he exclaimed as he ate some popcorn.  
  
"Say, Kagome, what are these?" Inuyasha questioned as he took a handful of popcorn and stuffed it into his mouth.  
  
"Popcorn. It's popped corn with butter and oil."  
  
Inuyasha gasped for air. Miroku splashed his EVIAN™ water bottle at him.  
  
"Kagome, do you mean to poison me with this?!" he screamed.  
  
The usher went to Inuyasha's row.  
  
"Please sir, people are trying to enjoy the movie," he spoke.  
  
"What movie? All I see are upcoming attractions!" Inuyasha shot back.  
  
"Sir, please be quiet."  
  
Luckily, the usher was a patient kind of guy. Inuyasha keh'd again and slumped down in his seat.  
  
After 10 minutes, the show finally began.  
  
Jesus was praying at the Mount of Olives (don't know how to spell...Gesethemane??) The devil was there and sent a snake underneath his robe...  
  
Inuyasha watched silently.  
  
Sango took a sip of water and stared at the screen.  
  
"30 pieces of silver." The high priest threw the coins to Judas Iscariot. The bag of coins dropped and the coins scattered everywhere. Soldiers came up to him. "Where is he?" they asked in Hebrew.  
  
Inuyasha twitched. He wasn't going to betray that Jesus, was he?  
  
The guards whipped and beat Jesus until he was bleeding.  
  
Sango went a little closer to Miroku as Miroku put his arms around her.  
  
The guards mocked Jesus.  
  
Inuyasha fumed. They can't do that to the Son of Man! Why he oughta...  
  
Jesus carried the cross. He fell down. Mary ran to him. "I'm here," she whispered. She was sobbing. Jesus touched his mother.  
  
Kagome was sniffling. Shippou hid his face in Kagome's arm. "So scary...so scary..."he mumbled crying. Inuyasha rolled his eyes.  
  
Finally, they nailed Jesus to the cross. He cried out in pain.  
  
Looking disgusted, Sango moved a bit closer to Miroku and Miroku wrapped his arms around her waist as if she was his.  
  
Kagome moved closer to Inuyasha and sniffled.  
  
As the show ended, the gang walked out the theater. Kagome is in tears, Shippou is whining about how unfair it is, Sango feeling woozy, Miroku feeling joyful about Sango in his arms and Inuyasha keh'd...again.  
  
IF YOU ARE A DIFFERENT RELIGION OTHER THAN A CHRISTIAN, TURN BACK NOW!  
  
When they reached back to Kagome's home, Kagome cried to her mom. "Mama...please! I want to be a Christian now!"  
  
Grandpa dropped open his mouth in awe. "Kagome, why?"  
  
Kagome sniffled. "It's so sad!!"  
  
Miroku nodded. "I'm a Christian monk now." Sango raised her eyebrows. "A 'Christian monk?'" Miroku grinned. "Ah...never mind."  
  
Shippou was crying too. Inuyasha sighed and rolled his eyes again. "Well, come on! We have to go back!"  
  
Sango nodded. "Come on Kagome-chan."  
  
Kagome nodded.  
  
IF YOU HAVEN'T MOVED BACK, MOVE BACK NOW!! CHRISTIANS, PROCEED...  
  
The gang walked to the well. Kagome sighed and kicked the shrine once.  
  
They all jumped through the well.  
  
^*^*^  
  
^Back at Kaede's^  
  
"So, how is thee?" she asked.  
  
Kagome smiled. "Kaede, are you a Christian?"  
  
Kaede stared at Kagome. Kagome waited for a reply. "Ah, no my dear."  
  
"Well, here."  
  
Kagome handed a leather Bible to Kaede. "Read Matthew today, then Mark, then Luke, then John..."  
  
Pretty stupid, I know. I can't think of what to write...hehe! 


	2. Nightmares about Passion of Christ?

Disclaimer: Inuyasha does not belong to me.  
  
"AAAAAH!"  
  
Shippou woke up screaming. Kagome went to see what was wrong.  
  
"I keep dreaming about the movie we watched!" he wailed. He started to describe the brutal parts of his dream. "Jesus was getting beat up and...and...WAH!!"  
  
By the time he finished, Inuyasha was furious. "YOU MEAN YOU WOKE UP ALL OF A SUDDEN JUST BECAUSE OF A NIGHTMARE?"  
  
Shippou began to cry again. "So? Miroku has nightmares too!"  
  
"I resent that!" Miroku countered playfully but pissed.  
  
Inuyasha sighed. "You don't see him screaming afterwards, do you?"  
  
Shippou shook his head.  
  
Kagome smiled. "Just go back to sleep, Shippou."  
  
~*~  
  
"AAAAAH!"  
  
Kagome woke up screaming. Sango went to see what was wrong.  
  
"Well, like Shippou, I keep on dreaming about 'Passion of Christ.' It's just...argh!"  
  
Miroku went to Kagome. "Remember Kagome. That was really what happened in real life. That's how they treat people back then."  
  
Inuyasha keh'd. "Not another one," he mumbled.  
  
~*~  
  
"AAAAAH!"  
  
Miroku woke up screaming. Everyone went to see what was wrong.  
  
"Another 'Passion of Christ dream?'" Inuyasha asked pissed.  
  
Miroku shook his head. "All the ladies turned me down!"  
  
Everyone just stared.  
  
"You perverted bouzu. All you dream about are women!" Inuyasha said. They all went back to sleep.  
  
~*~  
  
"AAAAAH!"  
  
Inuyasha woke up screaming. Kagome grinned. "A dream, Inuyasha?" she asked evilly.  
  
Inuyasha didn't notice that he was screaming. "Nani? Of course not...keh." "Then what is it?" Kagome asked.  
  
Inuyasha stared at Kagome. "Uh...it was...uh...um...er...damn wench! Just go back to sleep!"  
  
Kagome rolled her eyes. "Inuyasha, just tell me!" she protested.  
  
"NO! I mean...tell you what?"  
  
Kagome pulled his ears. "Tell me now or I'll sit you!" she screamed. Sango and Miroku woke up.  
  
Sango raised her eyebrow. "I didn't know it worked in English too," she commented.  
  
Miroku laughed. "What is this all about Kagome-sama?" he asked.  
  
"Inuyasha said he had a bad dream and I just wanted to know what it was!" Kagome said impatiently.  
  
"Yea, only I never said I had a bad dream!" Inuyasha replied as he got up from the dirt.  
  
"Aw...Inuyasha...just tell Kagome!" Sango said.  
  
"JUST GO TO SLEEP!" he yelled and sat down.  
  
~*~  
  
"AAAAAH!"  
  
Sango woke up screaming.  
  
"Bad dream?" Kagome asked.  
  
"NO! THAT STUPID HENTAI TOUCHED ME!" Sango yelped. Miroku grinned mischievously.  
  
"It was begging to be touched!" he said.  
  
Inuyasha snorted. "And I thought you had a bad dream like me," he muttered.  
  
Kagome stood up triumphantly.  
  
"So you did have a bad dream!" she smiled pointing to Inuyasha.  
  
"Wha-huh?"  
  
"You admitted it! I'm serious! Now spill it!" Miroku grinned shaking Inuyasha.  
  
"Ok-ok! I dreamt that Kikyou died again!" he replied.  
  
Kagome rolled her eyes. "Yeah, right. The last time you dreamt about her you yelled 'KIKYOU', not AAAAAH!"  
  
Inuyasha sighed in defeat. "Alright...I dreamt about Jesus."  
  
"What about him?" Sango asked.  
  
"Why do you care? Ah-fine. I dreamt about the movie, okay?!"  
  
"Aw..." they all cooed.  
  
*Sweatdrop*  
  
Should this be the end?? I'll think about it! 


End file.
